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CAPEFEAR, SA – According to stats offered by the South African Officials, huge numbers of whites have been committing suicide in South Africa simply by producing food for the country’s Farm to Table markets.
“It’s insane, people are dying and being maimed in record numbers,” says South African parliamentarian who called himself, “Die you white devil.”
According to him just by growing the very needed food during massive water shortages can get you killed, and all by your own hand. Some have shot themselves with planting their very crops and dragging their lifeless corps in their house completely covered in blood.
A health warning was issued as followed, something called “Kill White Farmers.”

Categories Humor, Satire

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BUCHAREST, RU – As the tanks hit the former Romania, a probe into the Russian election as to the possibility of inside Russian influence in the Russian Elections making Putin the longest standing leader under suspicious circumstances since Stalin.
Unnamed Sources, not at all made up, said there was huge amounts of Russian Advertising aimed at re-electing Putin.
The rest of this report was torn up by border patrols…..

Categories Humour, Comedy

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#Metoo is going strong and people are wondering, “why don’t they believe women?”
Some say it’s this sick obsession with due process, and “evidence…” maybe hang ups on pictures and broads who are shocked a home visit audition went bad. But no, people traced the problem too the Mulva incident.
“People who watch and repeat Seinfeld are rapists!” says Alice Morono, “One day it’s a clever dirty joke, the next it’s ….. nag nag nag … and he’ll rape her, and because she said he did, even know she didn’t have a smoking dress.
Arch feminists are calling for a ban on all comedy mentioning vaginas, to avoid these potential rape by accredited repeated humor.
“These people are nuts,” says arch feminist critic and feminist lawyer, Susan Bee, who thinks that suing over sitcom jokes is “why people think Weinstein is still an ok…well Cosby… well some of them are okay guys.”
Still Mz Morno insists the only way to do things is a full on assault on comedy, and end to a sense of humor.
“It’s working in Vancouver,” she insists.
Will Comedy win the war? One can only tell.

*When quoting Comedy or Comedians, give credit where it’s due, don’t pretend it’s yours.

Categories Comedy, Satire

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CRUSHING LOSESVANCOUVER, BC – Kim Campbell ragged on journalists and news readers who flashed their ankles, “It’s undignified,” “the men were at least wearing long socks,” she went on to say.
Campbell, the former forgotten Female PM, was just outraged that this porn was called news and said in her day they would tar and feather people for “such filth.”
Her former Reform Party competitor and Libertarian, Ian Isbister, fainted when the issue was mentioned.
When a news producer, Miss Soji Nee was asked, she stated her station’s official stance was, “That since the 1940s policy had changed, as the laws didn’t find anything sexual anymore about ankles.”

Cheville indigne: Kim Campbell
CRUSHING LOSESVANCOUVER (C.-B.) – Kim Campbell a dénoncé les journalistes et les lecteurs de nouvelles qui lui ont montré des chevilles: «C’est indigne», «les hommes portaient au moins de longues chaussettes», a-t-elle ajouté.
Campbell, l’ancien Premier ministre oublié, était tout simplement indigné que ce porno a été appelé nouvelles et a dit dans son jour qu’ils goudronneraient et plumeraient les gens pour “une telle saleté”.
Son ancien concurrent du Parti réformiste et libertarien, Ian Isbister, s’est évanoui lorsque le problème a été mentionné.
Lorsqu’on a demandé à une productrice de nouvelles, Mlle Soji Nee, elle a déclaré que la position officielle de sa station était: «Depuis les années 1940, la politique avait changé, car les lois ne trouvaient plus rien de sexuel au sujet des chevilles.

A bokák tisztességtelen: Kim Campbell
Kimászó veszteség – VANCOUVER, BC – Kim Campbell az újságírók és a hírlistaikkal szemben, akik a bokájukat villanták fel: “Tiszteletlen”, “a férfiak legalább hosszú zoknit viseltek” – folytatta.
Campbell, az egykori elfelejtett női főnök, felháborodott, hogy ez a pornó hír volt, és azt mondta a napjában, hogy kátrányozni fognak és az embereket “ilyen mocskot” fogják.
A volt reformpárt versenyzője és a libertariánus, Ian Isbister elájult, amikor a kérdést megemlítették.
Amikor egy újságíró, Miss Soji Nee-t megkérdezték, azt állította, hogy az állomás hivatalos álláspontja az volt, hogy “az 1940-es évek óta megváltozott a politikája, mivel a törvények többé nem találták szexuálisan a bokákat”.

Enkels Onwaardig: Kim Campbell
VERDUISTERENDE VERLIEZENVANCOUVER, BC – Kim Campbell wankelde over journalisten en nieuwslezers die hun enkels flitsten, “Het is niet waardig”, “de mannen droegen op zijn minst lange sokken”, vervolgde ze.
Campbell, de voormalige vergeten vrouwelijke premier, was gewoon verontwaardigd dat deze porno nieuws heette en zei in haar tijd dat ze mensen te veel zouden opdienen en vervloeken vanwege ‘dergelijke vuiligheid’.
Haar voormalige partij van de Reformatie, Libertarian en Ian Isbister, viel flauw toen het probleem werd genoemd.
Toen een nieuwsproducent, Miss Soji Nee, werd gevraagd, zei ze dat de officiële houding van haar station was: “Dat beleid sinds de jaren veertig was veranderd, omdat de wetten niets seksueel meer vonden over enkels.”

*First multi-lingual Satire article.

Categories Comedy, Freedom

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I will pout as long as the world lasts or the Liberals bow down to me, said the NDP Leader. “It’s my turn, damn it, my turn mommy, it’s mine,” Mr Horgan said while having his diaper changed.
“I demand to have the power,” he said. going (and on), “don’t my tears count as anything?”
“I will hold my breath and pout, I shall control BC, not the Liberals under any leader, or turn blue….” he went on, making the reporter’s stringer wish he learned how to hold it.
“Sure he’s infantile,” said the BC Greens Leader, “but he is still denying our independence if it says it stops Christy Clarke, despite not…hmmm…”
He had no position on pouting saying it’s going to be discussed at the next AGM if there is a BC Green Party still.


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