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TOKYO, SWEEDEN – In a shocking reveal by Nintendo on Octorber 19th, 2016, Nintendo shocked the world of gaming and furnishings. Nintendo has made a deal with Ikea to exclusively release it’s new console “The Switch,” not to be confused with the crime based board game about Governor Jeb Bush.
It will come using detachable parts, easily separated by an Alan Key and no bothersome secondary screen. Sony is outraged, “we wanted to release the Lego Vita, and they beat us to it,” said Yudomi Inarectim, CEO of Sony Entertainment and White Van Pornography.
Ikea’s CEO was in the middle of a annual suicide and could not make a statement.
Nintendo had a release stating “It was proud to have a new piece of useless furnishings of it’s own for Ikea.”
Will it succeed, I haven’t been bribed to give that opinion. But you can be sure, it will be on shelves somewhere.

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DUKENUKEDEM, JAPAN – In a scathing piece to USA Never, Donald Trump heard that Square place Dragon Quest 7 in a Quran setting. “Proof of ISIS,” and should be banned with Square.
Al-Balad a town in the game is Chapter 19 in the Quran (The City).
Hillary responded that it’s silly and the only thing Square is guilty of is criminal violence against youngsters and when asked, Libertarian Candidate, Johnson said, “Is that a new rapper guy?” and “What the fuck is a Quran?” Clearly a man looking for Bush Jr voters.
Jill Stein doesn’t exist.

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ANIMAL CROSS, BC – Creep Hunters, known for their sterling work at ruining chain of evidence and catching people talking to children on the street, negating the need for any presumption of innocence has become a house hold name, and cause for many run on sentences.
But now it has gone deeper, where a ring of child molesters have been hiding, the victim one young little kitty.

This kitten is named Katie and with an unknown absent parents, she has been hoping the train from one town to the next in search of municipal sights and sounds, what she got, says Roger Child of “Creep Hunters,” is a ring of Mayors passing her town to town (both male and female) in an attempt to spray their “perfect fruit juices.”
“We love Katie,” said Mayor Ifuhktah of MJ City. “All of us in the world of ACNL love Katie, she brings us great joy,” he prattled on while leching. “Hey Lily just got to old,” another Mayor said from the town of NAMGLA. This is the biggest sting yet, but the RCMP can’t help wonder if they are making this one up.
“Of course not,” said Roger Child of Creep Hunters, “We have proof of this systematic abuse.” “We have pictures of them talking to her and sneaking about town and then to the station,” he went on. “The RCMP just can’t handle how much circumstantial evidence of presumed guilt we collect,” Roger Child continues.
In finality he said that he isn’t sure why they find it so necessary to prove it, since they [The RCMP] can do what they do with “terrorists,’ entrap them.

Her mother Katt could not be found for comment or basic interest in her child.

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NEW BERLIN, ARGENTINA – In a final decision, for the sake of pride in the Fuhrer, and the memory of Walt Disney. They could not keep producing a game that promoted the ideals of a Captain America and bashed the SS and their Red Skull.
“We can’t have the Furher’s memory treated this way,” said a Disney official. He went on to say that “the fans should blame the Jews,” and that they should “embrace the final solution.”
Disney plans on rebooting it with a new game, “Red Skull’s Hydra Heroes,” to show off the positive side of offering Jews and homosexuals free transport and funerals and benefit of free labor and Cigarette, Booze free, Vegan life styles.
In a final statement, “Vote Stein” was yelled from Disney’s Once Secret Layer in Argentina.
Disney promises no more attacks on Nazis in future electronic media and asks people to buy their latest Train Simulation Game.
1000 Gold isn’t the end for MAA players, offering a prize of silver to all those who defend their decision.

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TWISTEDSISTER, OH – In acclamation the US Lemon Party endorsed, Bernie Sander’s for President. When asked if he refused it, they said, “he never said he didn’t.” If he does we are ready to accuse him of every phobe in the book. After all he did endorse Super Predator opposition Candidate Hilary Clinton, so he can change his mind about anything.
Super Predator also endorsed her despite past attacks after she bribed him with plenty of free Tyler Chicken and Water Melons.
As for the Lemons, there is no telling if their dream will come true.

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